Suppressing Emotions

Suppressing Emotions

I used to believe that being stable meant keeping my intellect in charge. It turns out I was really trying to quieten the discomfort that comes when life feels unpredictable, paradoxical, or complex. It is easier to see this pattern in others than in myself....
Self Criticism

Self Criticism

The more consciously I try to improve, the worse I perform. My mental clarity, energy and emotional stability all wobble — a paradox I didn’t see coming.  It’s an occupational hazard of leadership coaching to keep learning and developing. As a...
Guilt and Acceptance

Guilt and Acceptance

Wendy kept apologising every time she executed a manoeuvre incorrectly. She is a beginner sailor. If she could already handle the boat reliably, she would not need me as an instructor. She was guilty of nothing; the mistakes were part of learning. When racing, I...
What I Would Later Learn

What I Would Later Learn

I strive to avoid making others uncomfortable or wrong. Truly, I do. Yet I fail more often than I would like. I suspect it is because I sometimes make one too many leaps in logic which effectively is inconsiderate. I have not fully partnered in the...
Who am I without a preconceived notion of self?

Who am I without a preconceived notion of self?

At some point, most of us ask, who am I, really? The question isn’t just philosophical. It’s personal, urgent, and unsettling. And deeply human. Psychologists and neuroscientists might describe the self as an emergent property of biology and experience...